Redirecting energy

GOAL: Who will?

#SpartansWill

The timeline of you (no. 2)

image from google.com

Trivial. You don't think I take your words seriously. You don't think I hold on to what you tell me. Coffee. Dinners. Just talking. All those silly words you just dropped at those moments. Did you say them because they sounded good at the time? Did you say them to appease me? Did you just say them to get me off of your back?

Trivial. That's how you'll take the pain you're causing me. You won't even notice it because you're stuck in your own world. You live in an alternate reality where you won't have any effect on the people you're not interested in. Maybe I'm the one living the alternate reality, thinking the people I like actually care about me.

Trivial. Maybe that's how you take the things I've been showing you. I don't seem to show interest, so I probably am not. I haven't been very discreet about it, though.

Trivial. That's how my presence is to you. The next time we see each other, you'll greet me coolly. I won't be able to ignore you because you just have that effect on me.

Trivial. How you perceive my existence is just that.

Trivial.

03.27.2016

The timeline of you

You think you'll cry after having one too many drinks

You'll realize you don't

The world just spins and your eyes lose focus but your mouth will still slur out his name

You're grasping the toilet seat thinking you'll never do this again, that he's not worth the panic you'll feel when you think your body had too many drinks and forget to breathe while you were sleeping

And then you finally get to the moment you wanted to have all along: when you're sleeping, dreamless

when thoughts of him don't run through your head

when you don't feel anything at all

And then you wake up the next morning, thanking God you actually don't have a hangover

Staring up the ceiling, enjoying a few moments of being a blank slate

Slowly..

Thoughts of him resurface in your mind

Slowly..

His eyes

Slowly..

His voice

Slowly..

His smile

Slowly..

Memories with him

Slowly..

The words he said to simply break your heart

Slowly..

A trickle of tear goes down your cheek and onto the pillow which must be sick and tired of catching tears as you are

Slowly..

You think, "Ah, finally, the tears have caught on."

02.22.2016

Mema for today

I just tried activating Bisaya as the language of my Facebook interface. I just found out that "Custom" translated to "Kustombre" and "About" to "Kabahin". Now it seems like I'm an alien to my own mother tongue. I don't know what to feel when I realized that my grammar is better and my vocabulary, wider, in English than in Bisaya. It's strange and awkward.